OK, not really. However, I got my first six bills in the mail from Group Health and NEED to win the lottery so that's my new daily affirmation! LOL
Please forgive me for not writing the past couple days..........in the future at a minimum I will at least log in and write "please stand by" ~ that's an inside joke between Tim and I so you all know I didn't die or something. For whatever reason, the fatigue hit me like a Mack truck on Monday. I have been struggling to adjust to this new level of energy, or lack there of. It's hard, as most of you know, I'm a bounce off the walls type person so not having that level of energy to channel is a bit challenging. Work is picking up (THANK GOD!) and so I'm trying to take extra great care of my clients.
The success seminar yesterday was great! One of the one liners that really hit home for me was "Adversity is inevitable, but misery is optional". THAT IS SO TRUE! Honestly, no matter what curve ball hits you, you always have a choice, play the victim or become a better you. There are so many incredibly wonderful things that are already unraveling on this journey that to waste even a single minute feeling sorry for myself and asking that cliche, "why me?" would be uncivilized. LOL
The magnitude of appreciation that I am able to feel now is overwhelming! It is my goal to figure out a path so you can feel the same without a tragedy touching your life. If you could feel what I feel, your life would be a million times happier and I'm convinced you'd have an abundance of whatever it is you wish to have in your life. THIS IS THE WAY GOD INTENDED US TO FEEL EVERYDAY! I'm just not sure why we struggle with it and get so caught up in the day to day grind of life. I notice the littlest things, a smile from a stranger, eye contact, all the different shades of green in the woods behind us, etc. To say I'm grateful that I got to wake up today is an understatement. Our journey here on earth does have an expiration date, and none of us know when ours is. Cancer reminded that I have an expiration date and I want you to realize you have one too. Live IN the moment, don't take it for granted..........there is so much love in that statement, "live like you're dying"! The ONLY way you can really fulfill your personal purpose is to love, and love deeply and generously. Stop putting boundaries and conditions on the love you have to give..............it's not worth it. Why keep it all bottled up inside of you when you will feel a million times better releasing it to everyone you come in contact with. FORGIVE........it will release you from the chains you carry!
I'm sorry for preaching but if I don't pour what's inside of me out onto this screen or paper this journey will be for nothing. And that I can not let happen. There is one or two books that I will publish at the end of this journey. If my story can help even one person down the road, it will be all worth it, no matter how sick I may get. I can see the industry needs a "Diva's Guide to Surviving Cancer" already and who better to do that than me? I am all about simplicity (I just look high maintenance) LOL so a simple step by step guide to getting through from start to finish is definitely in order!!
What is your purpose? I honestly believe mine is to make a damn big ripple in the fight against pancreas cancer. To help as many people as possible along the way whether they have cancer or not. There is no difference between you and I. Just because I have cancer and you don't doesn't mean you can't fulfill your purpose and live your dreams......yea, even the big ones!
OK, enough of the soap box.............I am doing well. Tired and some nausea here and there but so far the side effects are manageable to me. Managing my own personal pharmacy is difficult too so need to figure out the pharmacy on the go plan.
We are leaving for Lake Osoyoos/Canada on Friday after my chemo treatment so pray that 6 hour drive goes smoothly and there's no immediate side effects from chemo that day. Tim's 50th b'day is on Sunday so we'd planned this road trip to wine taste and bask in the sun with his brother and sister in law for the extended weekend. I don't think I've ever met someone so into their 50th bday before. I think he'd like it declared a national holiday LOL SHHHHHHHH, don't tell him I typed that out loud! He's my rock so if I could I would!! Him and Obama are not on the same page so it's not going to happen though.
Now........back to my affirmation "I WON THE LOTTERY!" I'll bet winning the lottery will be the same feeling as the day I can say I am cancer free! Oh yea baby!
LIVE WITH PASSION! ~DJ
Beautiful Dawn, i wish more people understood that, how you reacted is how your life will go, playing the victim is there choice, rather than trying to make the most of this as a life lesson, first Q. from my family when two siblings got cancer, the one who played victim died, the one with this type of attitude is doing well, Cemo is kicking his butt. always tired, and asked the Q. why me; why not you, we are all vulnerable to Cancer, it is not picky, it will choose all kinds of people, Faith is a big Key, i see you have alot. so proud to know you, your such an inspiration to us all... I had 6 surgery's in the last two years. now that was humbling to me.... empathy is a wonderful life lesson i learned. and a strong, positive attitude. I woudn't change a thing it was so hard but you have to make the best of what you are going through. and that my dear friend is what you are doing<3 you are an inspiration to us all. positive vibes heading your way and i always pray for you as well. Love always Laurie...
ReplyDeleteI know you already know this but when you walk around with a big smile on your face all the time and talk to everyone around you get mixed reactions. If they take a moment or two to talk to you it changes their mind they stop thinking you're crazy. I have developed a theory as I have observed life for a lot of years...it is we meet people for a reason. It is always free will to embrace or reject the people who cross our paths. If you reach out and accept whoever crosses you path they all have something to share a lesson to be learned. If the exchange is free of any fear the energy flows freely and lessons are learn and taught from both sides. I have tried to live my life with no fear and great passion and it works for me. I have many stories of encounters that could have turned out very bad but didn’t. I know why it is living without fear.
ReplyDeleteYou are facing many new challenges and I know in my heart you will overcome all odds and defeat the cancer. You have a truly loving heart and no fear. You have wonderful friends who love you and a great support system in place. Now you have a whole new following of people who didn’t really know you but are now pulling for you and praying for you like me.
Love Always and Everyone,
Mariah
Praying your chemo goes well this week. Hoping Tim has a wonderful birthday. You are an inspiration. (Jolene)
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