If I had this to do over again, I would have blogged each of the 18 days that I was in the hospital. It's so hard to recapture the true feelings one was feeling on any given day. I have a lot of mixed emotions about my time in the hospital. One one hand, I'm so grateful for the incredible staff and Doctors that were caring for me, and then on the other I was not sure I was going to make it.
The 12 hour surgery lasted twice as long as anticipated. THAT IS A LONG TIME TO BE OPEN ON THE TABLE and with that comes some horrible side affects in recOVERY. I felt good coming out of surgery in recovery knowing that they were successful in removing the tumor from not only my body, but don't forget it was attached to an artery. Dr. Rocha chipped away at my tumor for 12 hours!!!!!!!!! I honestly don't know how many surgeons would have had the tenacity to hold out that long and not give up. He even had a plan B if he couldn't get it removed from the artery but after 12 hours the tumor just let go from the artery (a miracle) and the rest is history.
I struggled the next 17 days. We would take a step forward in recovery only to take two steps backward the next day. It was 18 days of a roller coaster ride. I had tubes coming out my arms, my port and my nose. I was so bloated from all the fluids they had to pump into me during surgery that I had legs like an elephant. I avoided the mirror at my step=mother's request. LOL
One of the main complications that has my medical team bewildered was some swelling (some type of blockage) up near my pancreas. This problem went on for weeks and test after test still left them in the dark. I really got scared. We take for granted that when we are sick the Dr's will access the situation and treat the problem. What scared me, is they could not figure out what the problem was. They had me scheduled for scope surgery to go in again and investigate the problem, and yet I was running out of patience. I just wanted to come home..............after two weeks there was nothing I wanted more. However, I knew I had to be able to take in food and keep it down before they would ever release me. Up to this point they had been feeding me through a pick line in my arm that was directly placed in my heart.
We started me on boost shakes and as soon as I kept one of those down I started to negotiate my release. I wanted to be disconnected from all the tubes, especially the one up my nose and then I would start eating and if I kept the foods down they would release me on that Thursday before Christmas. And so it was done.
You should have seen me.............as soon as I was disconnected from all the tubes I be lined so fast to the bathroom and into the shower I think I left a burn mark on the vinyl floor. That was the best shower I ever had in my life. LOL I had just had daily sponge baths up to that day. I am still amazed at all the things we take for granted in our lives...............like a shower. LOL
My homecoming was so emotional............there are no words to describe how overwhelmed I was with gratitude when I came sat on our sofa. Looking at all the holiday decor and just realizing what a miracle it is that I was alive to enjoy the holidays with my family and friends. I mean there was a 95% chance that I was not going to be here and here I am. There are just so many miracles that had to factor in to get me to this point.................from my original Dr. ordering a CT scan to begin with so he could discover my tumor and my oncologist with his aggressive chemo (which yes almost killed me) and then a surgeon that is willing to chisel away on a tumor for 12 hours until he had it all removed. Then there is my family that drove up from Alabama and stayed her for 8 months to take care of me and then all my friends raising money to help me with the financial burden this has placed on me. I am also deeply touched from all the prayers..........prayers from people that didn't even know me....................if you didn't believe in God, you would have to now as this whole journey has ended in am amazing miracle.
I spend my days resting at home, and letting my body heal. Dr's tell me it will be 12 weeks before I feel somewhat normal. I don't sleep well because it's hard to get comfortable. There is always some sort of discomfort going on in my gut. I'm trying to be patient though. I'm thrilled to have lost 33 lbs so far. I feel amazing over that!!!!
Thank you so much for all the cards and prayers. I got threw all my mail this week. I really can't begin to say thank you enough. I really hope each of you will join me in celebrating my miracle on Feb. 18th and the big fat purple benefit in Browns Point. What an amazing miracle. I feel as though I have a 2nd chance at life to be a better mother, daughter, sister, friend and Realtor.
I want to share my story with as many people as possible in hopes that I can help others. I really think anyone going thru chemo needs a cancer coach to hold their hand. I understand what people stop going to chemo and give up yet would feel honored to help them keep fighting until they have their own miracle.
Happy New Year and may 2012 be your best year yet!
LIVE WITH PASSION!
DJ
