I got my Chemo on!!! LOL

Yesterday was AMAZING!!!!!!!  Proof that with the right attitude you can make anything FUN!!  As you know, I woke up singing," I'm too sexy for my pancreas" and went as far as to dress for a date!  These are chemo dates for me and as much as I love my sweats and would have been more comfortable in them, I felt my first priority was looking good so whatever was about to happen, I'd still feel good.  Personally for me, if I don't look good, it's a bit more challenging to feel good.  A gal's gotta start somewhere and this Diva starts on the outside.  OK, not really but work with me here. LOL  I had on my cute sexy torn jeans, heels (of course), blank tank fitted tank with sheer print cheetah blouse over it and all the bling in all the right places!  Still don't have that purple mani and pedi but working on that this morning.  Given the potential nail issues ahead of me, I cut my nails down this morning, it's never fun when I have to bring out the big guns (clippers).  I'm a file gal not a cutter gal.  It's even worse with my hair (ask Mandy, but again I digress) LOL
MamaLou packed my Dad and I great healthy lunch, well OK she snuck some cookies in there but remember this was a FUN date and what's a fun lunch without cookies??  My only glitch heading out the door was I couldn't put any perfume on.  No fragrances or strong odors allowed in the cancer ward. What is weird is this floor smells so bad like body odor and so I'm thinking the patients are taking it too for and not wearing any antiperspirant GEEZ, itLOL really does smell bad, I'm not exaggerating. LOL  See what I have to look forward too?  a gosh darn sensitive nose.  LOL
Tim met us for the early part of our date which was chemo 101 training for rookies LOL  Janice taught us everything we needed to know but were afraid to ask.  Needless to say it was primarily about all the side affects potentially ahead of me, news that I have a about a month and half before I'm bald, and all the new prescriptions I get to take........UGH!  I have officially turned into that person that I never wanted to date (you know the one with a medicine cabinet full of prescriptions for every ailment possible) LOL  It was also weird to be told I need to know where my nearest ER is where ever I go.......EWWW!  I'm 48 and that made me feel like 84 LOL  Sadly, that training was overwhelming for Tim.  I'm still in denial and believe I'll breeze through this with minimal side affects and work my normal routine missing a few days here and there for chemo but other than that, I'm going to fight this thing and chemo like a rock star!!  Tim was just overwhelmed with all the negative side affects, really the only positive thing said in that hour was "you won't have to shave". LOL (referring to me, not Tim of course)  I'm even going to be hyper sensitive to the sun and have to wear a very high sun block, OK, I'm a sun goddess are you kidding me?  UGH!  but, sunscreen and a big sexy hat it is then. LOL
My vitals were great (blood pressure meds are working obviously) and my blood work came back very good so we had a green light to launch into happy hour!  My first cocktail of the day was Taxatene which came with some risk of pain and red streaks up my arm the following day so Linh (my nurse who is gorgeous and funny in the absurd way that I am so we were just two peas in a pod~she even dropped the F bomb once LOL) put a heating pad over the port on my arm to prevent all that.  And it worked!  No red stripes today! In fact, I didn't even feel the needle go in when she put the port in place!!  When I say we had a perfect date yesterday, I mean not a single glitch.  My 2nd cocktail came after a rinse of #1, Gemcitobine and I had no issues with that one either!  We were at the hospital from 10-4 and it went by very quickly and both my Dad and I had fun!  Tanner called and talked to me for awhile was I was there and it's always nice to hear my sons voices.  I'm fighting this fight more for them than for me. 
So, onto my amazing and unexpected visitors for happy hour.  Shannon Turner stopped by early on and introduced herself as my patient navigator with the American Cancer Society and she was just a sweetheart!  Gave me lots of resources to help me along this journey but I have to say my favorite was Gina Ritchie my social worker with Virgina Mason.  She was a darling!  Although, she said one thing that made me sad, and that was "I have one other patient with a positive attitude like you" and I thought to myself ONLY ONE??????  YIKES!!!!!!!!  So, I need to be spreading the joy when I'm there and hopefully help some others along the way.  The more the merrier, right??  Let's turn those frowns upside down!!  LOL  I had two choices, jump in my sweats and bring the stress with me or dress the hell up and have a good time.  This is a weekly commitment and a 4-6 hour timeblock out of my day when I'm there, why waste it feeling bad when I can take that opportunity to make others laugh, and I can learn a thing or two along the way.  Gina was amazing, touching on my fears of hair loss, skin changes, basically all my vanity issues and it was nice to just throw it out there say, hey, I'm freaked out about losing my eyelashes not my hair, although I know the day I have to shave will be extremely emotional for me and I don't think I'd be healthy if I didn't cry. The ONLY person I let touch my hair is Mandy at MeMeandCompany so will grab a few girlfriends and make a date of that as well and bring my new sexy big haired wig (watch out as I'm probably going to bring the 80's back)  You know my motto, go big or go home! LOL  Something I thought was interesting is there are hair banks (not real hair wigs, fake hair) (yes you read that right) so I can go and get two free wigs at a hair bank LOL  Not holding my breath on the condition or how sexy the wigs are but might be fun to have a couple different looks and then I will invest in my favorite wig made with real hair.  They also have this Good Wishes foundation "a gift from L. Brickson USA~ www.francelux.com and I get a GORGEOUS silk head scarf from them.  I can hardly wait as I have a cheetah print one picked out!  LOL  I know you are not surprised..........trust me, I'm a diva all the way down to this damn tumor and I'll be damned if I'll let cancer take that away from me. LOL  I am going to schedule a meeting with Janet Bowman, my appearance consultant for a one on one consult during my next chemo date so that will be fun to get help from her.  I'm also going to to look into naturopathic physicians specializing in oncology (Gina gave me a list of them~just need to see if Group Health will cover it)
I didn't have any allergic reaction, no pain, and quite honestly had a blast and I attribute all that to my attitude and spirit and all the prayers you give me every day, my family, my friends and God's gift of life which I'm not going to sit back and waste feeling sorry for myself.  I've not once asked "Why me" and that's only because if every time something bad happens to you in your life and you ask yourself that, then it only fair that you ask that same question when something good happens to you.  Think about it, and you'll know I'm right so when life throws you a curve ball, just HIT IT! the best you can and don't let it take you down.  Somebody somewhere said something like it's not about the hits we take, it's how you get up from them that defines you.  My life has not been easy, I have had my fair share of "junk" but I'm no different than you.  I've never met anyone that had the perfect leave it to Beaver life and just had everything come easy.  I surround myself with positive people that I can learn and grow from and with.  The negative ones, well, let's just say I did that house cleaning back in my divorce in 1996.  You can do more good for more people by sharing the light within you.  We ALL have it, God was not picky about who he gave it too, just some choose not to let it out.  It's easier to feel bad and make fun of others.  I get that, but the joy comes from quite the opposite.  Imagine the world if we all just glowed a little more.  I can't even read the news, watch the news because of all the negativity it focuses on.  I have to channel my energy forward and to the good.  This journey is hard, one of the hardest ones I will ever endure, but the amount of good coming out it FAR exceeds the pain, the fear, the sadness, and all the negative things on it.  I am taking this journey for my family and my friends.  I can carry this and would rather this be on me than any of you.  I see how hard and emotional this is for those that love me, and it brings me to tears to see you all hurting and see your fear.  Trust me, I'm not going anywhere!  I PROMISE as God as my witness, there is NOTHING ahead of me that will stop me from beating this no matter how long it takes.  I know I will write a book or two at the end of this, and become a major advocate for pancreas cancer awareness and help all those after me, and even with me now, beat this horrible disease.  Enough cancer already!  I lost two of the most beautiful women in the world, my mother (59) and my paternal grandmother when I was only 2.  No more and that includes me!!
I can tell you this, you love more with cancer, you feel more with cancer, and if I believe if you don't play the victim, you can do more with cancer.  Now, don't get me wrong, I will play the cancer card from time to time to get want I want (I am still Dawn LOL) for example when I go to buy my new big sexy hair, I will ask the cashier for the cancer discount. LOL  THAT my friend, is the cancer card.  LOL  Or, can we get a table by the window, I have cancer and the light helps me when I'm eating LOL
On a final note, Valerie and I are going to plan a big big big fundraiser at the end of summer.  I want this to be a BIG celebration of all that I have learned thus far, and bring all of you together with me and toast all that is good!  It will be a big place where we can accommodate all my friends and family, we'll have wine tasting, entertainment (hopefully karaoke), amazing food, and with enough support a silent auction of some nice things for you to take advantage of, and overall just a super fun evening to say farewell to summer.  All the proceeds will go into the donation account to help with my medical bills (which alarmingly I found out Virginia Mason only gives you 3 months to pay) UGH!!!!!  I want to personally greet each person at the door and give them a purple wristband and a hug from me to say thank you for your love, prayers and support.  It's true, this cancer is not only bringing out the best in me, it's bringing out the best in you and everyone around me.  This must be what a miracle feels  and looks like!  I love you! ~ LIVE WITH PASSION! ~DJ