Tuesday, July 5, 2011

When I grow up...

I never dreamed I would be a cancer survivor, but I sure as hell am excited to become one!  Reality has set in more than ever.......
My face is burned as a reaction to chemo, my nail beds are ultra sensitive, I'm in and out of nausea, my mouth feels like it's full of dimes, exhausted, and Tim just shaved my head tonight...........GOT CANCER?  Yes I do, but just temporarily.
Surgery for the port went well today, again, AMAZING team at Virginia Mason!  You won't believe this.  I was feeling very nauseous from being off my meds the night before and morning of surgery and so didn't feel well at all arriving at the hospital this morning at 7am.  I was so impressed with my anaesthesiologist, as she came in and introduced herself and asked how I was doing.  Curled up in the fetal position with pillows I said, "fine".  Then there was a silence as she realized I was lying and then she said, "are you sure?" and then I confessed about the nausea.  She immediately put an IV in and ordered up some meds to get that nipped in the bud right away...............WOW, she could have just as easily accepted my "fine" and gone about her job, but she didn't.  THIS WOMAN REALLY LOVES HER CAREER AND CARES!  So, needless to say I fell in love with her and we chatted up a storm after I got to feeling better.  I requested to meet Dr. Nuzel, my surgeon as I had never met him up to that point so they paged him and he came down to introduce himself before surgery and answer any questions...........we clicked like two peas in a pod, he's from Tennessee!  Redneck to redneck, we just had a great chat.  He also had a great talk with my folks after surgery and told them if they EVER had a question to please call him and/or stop by his office if they were in the building..........LOVE AT FIRST SITE, ya think?
My right shoulder is a bit tender and sore but all in all it was a good day.  I'm tired still but think I'm better than I was yesterday.  Plan to take the day off tomorrow to rest with no company, and relax as I am the manager on duty this weekend and we have the big summer festival in West Seattle going on so I need my energy for that more than a typical Wednesday's day work.
I LOVED having my sons under my roof.  Amanda and her family gave me a beautiful purple hanging basket that I now have in the back yard.  THANK YOU!!!!!!!  You know what was hard though?  it was very difficult and emotional for me to be sick in front of my sons.  It's hard allowing your children to see you so vulnerable and so seriously sick.  I had no idea it was going to be like that, I'm so used to waiting on them so it was not natural allowing them to care for me.  It made me sad.  I remember how hard it was for me seeing my mother so sick and it broke my heart to have to put them through that.  They too have had their reality check now too and know how serious my condition is and that I am going to get worse before I get better.  We are all on the same page now, MamaLou made sure of that! LOL  My folks have one goal, and that's my well being and I can see they are not going to let anything or anyone get in their way.  How blessed am I?  I love them more than words can say and having them so close by gives me so much peace of mind..........honestly takes the stress out of everything for me so I can concentrate on just healing one day at a time.
Now, about this head shaving..........it was not bad at all and at least now I don't look like the supermodel from Tales from the Crypt!  I feel so much better and if I can find some way to get rid of this burn on my face so I can look my best, I don't think shaved is that bad, especially for summer!  Now I didn't much like sweeping my own hair off the floor but that's the price you pay for a good hair cut in my house. LOL Consider yourself warned.
Please say a prayer and thank God for your health today and every day.........it is such a gift.  This journey is hard and I wouldn't wish it on ANY of you!  I pray for health and love for everyone!  I also am so grateful God has brought my family to me and each of you on this journey with me.  I couldn't do this alone.  Nobody could.  God intends for all of us to grow on this journey.  It's amazing the people that love you will share the bad along with all the good, if you let them.  xoxoxo
LIVE WITH PASSION! ~ DJ

1 comment:

  1. What a wonderful family you have, Dawn! You are blessed with their love, so let them take care of you!

    Just a thought--but there seems to be a thread of long-loved recipes in your life. Have you considered, in whatever spare moments you can find, creating a cookbook, bound in purple of course? I have bought cookbooks for years, but have never seen one titled, "From Dawn to Dinner: A Cancer Diva's Recipes to Recovery." This could also be another great little fundraiser toward your expenses. I'd be happy to help you organize the layout, if you supply the recipes, the forward, and any thoughts throughout. You could include a great quote on every page; here's one to get you started:

    "Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." ~Mark Twain

    I think of you so often, Dawn, and pray for your physical strength throughout all of these steps toward healing your body. You uplift everyone with the STRENGTH OF YOUR SPIRIT! Thank you for the purple bracelets for Kevin and me. I know he looks forward to seeing you for lunch!

    With love and prayers always,
    Linda

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