Back to chemo

Well, we are back to week # 1 of this series of chemotherapy today.  I feel a little more anxious than normal.  It's also the first treatment with my port, which doens't feel totally healed yet so guess we'll see how smoothly this goes.  Am anxious to learn what the exta hole in my neck is for from surgery.

I've been going over in my head all my side affects and what I'm able to do to combat them.  Yes, I said combat because this is a war between Cancer and me.

1. Fatigue = Rest
2. Nausea = Prochlorperazine & Lorazepam (only works when taken together for me)
3. Insomnia = Zolpodem (aka Ambien)
4. Bloating = still working on a solution for this & getting used to looking pregnant.  I even have moment in there like I felt when I did have a baby in there.  WEIRD as I'm begging to wonder if there IS an alien in me on some days.
5. Occasional Severe Stomach Pains/Cramping = Vicoden as needed
6. Severe Red Dry Peeling Face days after chemo = Dexamethasone
7. Hair Loss = Shaved my head and wear hats, scars and gorgeous wigs!
8. Peeling hands and feets = lots and lots of lotion (bag balm)
9. Nail bed sensitivity = nothing but being extra careful when painting my nails
10. Extreme Metal Mouth = nothing helps this but I do eat with plastic siverware
11. Flush Mouth/Sores = Brush with Arm and Hammer w/Peroxide toothpaste and have to brush my cheeks and tongue really good but it works.  Taste like shit, but solves the probably beautifully
12. Excessive Tear Production = still working on a solution
13. Weight Gain/Water Retention = still working on a solution
14. Hypersensitivity to smells = trying to enjoy foods more with my nose instead of mouth that I love
15. Scars from chemo = Plan to get some of those mederma patches and see if they help reduce the burns
16. The daily psychological warfare between cancer and me = starting hypnosis on Saturday with plans to go every other week and see how I do, I may need this weekly to survive as we progresss further _ bug thank you to Alica Tally for coming to my rescue AGAIN!  Last time she treated me while I was going through my 2nd divorce and what a world of difference she made.
17. The pancreatic cancer odds = we don't discuss this,  My medical team is positive and determined to get me through this,  as are all my friends, family and ME!!!!!

On a positive note, I have regestered for a 2 hour workshop at Providence put on by ACS and FeelGoodLookBetter foundation so that I can get some hands on help on how to look good with all these physical handicaps coming at me.  It will also be nice to meet some other women that are going through the same thing I am.  I never thought I'd want to put myself into a group setting, but I've changed and I want to do this like yesterday.  Waiting for a call back with my registration for Monday's class.  This will be the best thing I've done for myself in a while.

Part of my way of coping with cancer, is pretending I don't have it.  So, I have avoided other people with cancer like the plague.  Not that I think their cancer is going to jump off of them and onto me but I'm so much about energy.  I am very intentional about surrounding myself with positive energy.  Have you seen the energy on the chemo floor at a hospital?  No, you haven't because there isn't any.  Everybody deals with this differently and I don't want to be around those that are giving up, angry or just down right negative no matter how you slice and dice it.  On the other hand, I would be MORE than happy to help anyone that needs help that I may be able to offer, even if that means just feeding off my positive energy.  This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and feel it's important to help as many people as I can along the way.  I'm no expert but I know what I know and that I can share.  Nobody should have to go through this alone.

Is there a message in here for you?  YES....maybe YOU need to do a little house cleaning in order to have a happier life.  If you have negative people in your life, limit your time with them.  All those drama kings and queens, keep them at arms length.  Only surround yourself with positive people and you will be AMAZED at the impact just this one thing does for you.  There is a reason I'm so happy everyday, I love all the things around me, the people, places, etc.  Did you know happy people get sick less??

Now, to go back and get some sleep so I'm rested for my date with Dad today.........hmmmmmmm, what to wear, what to wear??????
LIVE WITH PASSION!
DJ