Well what a whirlwind of a week it has been. I am not even sure where to start as the wind is still out of my sails. I have had two surgical procedures to determine if this new mass is cancer and found out last night that it is.
I simply don't understand how a tumor can go from zero to hero in just a few months! What the hell am I doing wrong? This tumor is larger than before which explains the higher cancer marker but really???? Over inch and a half already?
I have been in so much pain and Dr Picozzi explained to me on the phone tonight that is from the cancer growing. Needless to say we are getting started on a new chemotherapy regemine asap. This time its a combination of three drugs given every two weeks. Once the tumor is small enough we will begin a radiation regimine. I can not do surgery again so pray the combiination works and does not kill me in the process.
I am so scared more than I have ever been in my life. I am also sad to have to put my friends and family through this journey again. It is heartbreaking for all of us.
Fortunately my youngest son Tanner has moved in with us for the summer so he can help until he goes back to school in august. We are also downsizing to a small 2br townhome rambler in Maple Valley on July 7th so busy packing.
It is so scary embarking on this battle again when I am already so sick and weak. I still have not healed my frozen shoulder...tendinitis oe compression fracture. Heck my eyelashes are not even all back yet or my nails for that matter.
Sandy has really been my hero making time to get me to hospital over and over again. Dont know what I would do without her. Please help me help her find a job. Shes been a building supervisor and is so smart...any company would be lucky to have her.
Val is already going full speed to help and be my angel again. She is going to help me with my will and make arrangements for my cremation just in case I dont make it this time. I saw what a mess one of Tims friends left when he died recently and I dont want to do that.
Please keep me and my family in your prayers.....we need them more than words can express. For some reason this journey is a lot more emotional and harder than before.
LIVE WITH PASSION
DJ
I am so very sorry Dawn I bet your scared and I am right there with ya...so happy Tanner is there this summer and if you need help moving please say something. Your a fighter and this tumor should be scared of you! Spiritually I am holding your hand and praying for you.xoxox
ReplyDeleteKim
My friend.........You are a Diamond in a sea of sandstone. Your tenacious will, infectious smile, and upbeat approach are to be admired. Time to go "with in" and draw from your Soul the road map ahead. I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Dawn you are a person that needs no parachute, for God's hand is always under you.
ReplyDeleteDawn: Please let me know if you need any help with packing/moving. I can arrange one day a week to help you; let me know who to call if someone is in charge of this process for you. Also, keep the smile I am looking at right now just to the right of this post.
ReplyDeleteFrom the Book of Common Prayer:
"Almighty God our heavenly Father, graciously comfort Your servant Dawn in her suffering, and bless the means made use of for her cure. Fill her heart with confidence that, though at times she may be afraid, she yet may put her trust in You; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."
Love and many prayers from Linda