Tim and I spent Friday night in the Twilight Zone aka Virginia Mason's emergency room. First of all, it' son the 6th floor! Who puts an ER on the 6th floor???????????? Weird!!!!!!!!! It really didn't take that long to get checked in but when we were walking back to the room, the gal says UH OH, the room is not clean so just sit down here (the hallway on a cot) so Tim and I each pick a cot to sit on and wait, and wait, and wait...............30 mins later or so we get into a room. Nurses had nothing but problems accessing my port in fact they are all convinced the port is infected and blaming he port for them not being able to draw any blood. However, one of the nurses proceeds to hook up my saline or whatever er they put in you to replenish your fluids but since he's not accessing the port properly, this fluid if filling up directly into my chest and HURTS!!!!!!! Finally I say something and they remove it and do it the old fashioned way. Next thing I know the Dr who I have never seen is admitting me! How can yo admit someone into the hospital that you have never examined???? I freak out and dont' want to stay.............a shift change occurs and with that comes a new nurse and new Dr. and next thing you know I get to go home but before I do, they decide to admit me again. UGH I can't keep up!!!!!!!!! then Dr. comes in and says she will release me so I am in a hell of hurry to get dressed and get out there before they change their minds again. LOL It was scary and nobody was communicating with anybody else and we left with no more answers than we came with all over a fever. LOL
Well, here I am at chemo right now and not a hick up or hitch with my port..........can we say user error up at ER last Friday? I knew they didn't know what they were talking about. It was like it was every body's first night there. LOL Chemo running really late today but just gives me more time with my peep Sandy. LOL Blood work tells the Dr. something is wrong so he's putting me on antibiotics which explains the off and on again fever. I think I just have a bug in my chest that triggered my asthma issues.
It has been a really rough journey and I realize it's going to continue to get worse before it gets better. I'm already tired of this game and don't want to pl;ay anymore. Just want to be done. Chemo is wearing me down which I am sure is normal by this late in the game so I know I'm not feeling anything anybody else wouldn't be feeling.
I really miss my Dad but am hoping he will be back up here next week..........we should know soon if he has to have surgery and can jump on a plane and be back up here for the rest of my journey. I need him more now that I'm getting sicker and often time scared. I'm not giving up but any means, but do have days where I just get really scared.........my biggest what if is what if this tumor does not separate from the main artery, what does that mean to surgery wise????? and to my recovery from surgery????????
I hate to sound like a broken recorded but this nail thing is gross. Although I'm trying to save them with Rogaine, they are rotting off and it smells sooooooooooooooooo gross, like a dead body. I can't even stand my hands near my face the smell is so bad. In fact, it will wake me up from a dead sleep. Nurse suggested soaking them in tree tea oil so am going to try that. I have nothing to lose right? So if you are near me and think I stink......it's not me, it's my fingernails!! LOL
Hey we moved the BIG FAT PURPLE BENEFIT. Decided that we could get more people if we move the event to late January and move it further North..........maybe lilke tukwila area so we can capture more North enders. This also gives Val and Sharon more time to procure auction items and sponsors. Sooooooooo if you have any inside connections to a location that you think might be good and cheap, please let us know!! We would be grateful for your help. Also perk is that I will be healed up from surgery and be able to celebrate being cancer free and actually have a glass of wine to celebrate with you!!!!!!
Chemo takes you to hell, that's all I got to say about that. There are no words to describe the occasional fear, the quality of life that it robs from you and the physical torture. So I'm sure you can understand why I just want to be done..............after today though, only 5 more treatments to Nov.3rd I am on the homestretch!!!!
Please be grateful for your health, despite anything else bad that maybe happening in your world.
LIVE WITH PASSION!
DJ
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