Looking back

Fighting cancer reminds me of treading water.  It gets exhausting and would certainly be easier to just let go and sink...but that would be the end...sure death.  I can not stress the importance of moving.  Like anything in life...if you stop doing and stop moving, you get complacent and stop making any type of progress.  These are hard times for all of us and no matter what obstacle you see in front of you...you can not let it stop you.  Oh it may slow you down but nothing can stop you unless you let it.  Do not place blame...that is just an excuse to stop moving.
My body aches......sometimes to the point of tears and with that comes doubt but that is the time to lean on the loved ones around you.  Nobody wants you to die or fail at anything.  So doesn't it makes sense that the people around you would help you?  I have learned that my suffering is not a burden on others..it is heartbreaking and they simply want to know how they can help ease my pain.  This is called love.
When I look back at my life which I do often I smile.  I have had sooo much laughter and joy it is astounding and that is how I want to be remembered. 
This phase 2 of treatment was confusing to me.  I was not sure of the purpose or what the best outcome is.  I was just not clear why we had a phase 2.  In other words I didn't know what the goal was.  Surgery.  That is the goal.  Get this tumor to shrink down and unwrap around my artery so Dr Rocha can go in and remove it.  I have been told this is a long shot........well I believe I can make this long shot!!  There is nothing average about me and I believe I have to do this to have the quality of life I want.  I am asking for your prayers........we did it before so we can do it again!!  But I can not do it without you.
LIVE WITH PASSION!
DJ