No more internet

Sorry for the silence.  We have moved and no longer have internet so I am limited to communicating exclusively thru my phone.  Its called budgeting lol
I have made it thru two chemo sessiosn.  First one landed me in hospital for 5 days but second one went better.  I however started having panic attacks but they have subsided now that I am off the pump.  I get 3 cocktails two take a couple hours each and the 3rd runs for 46 hours........it is horrible.
I am weak and feel very fragile..........in other words I feel the opposite of who I am and who I want to be.  This time is so much harder than before.  I know it should be easier but it simply is not no matter how I slice and dice it.
I feel death closer than ever before for many reasons........one I am no longer a surgical candidate.  Remission is my best hope.  I am though so happy with the person I have become.  I have become the people I hang around the most.  My friends are the best people on earth.  They love and give so graciously and generously.  No wonder my friends become friends with each other.  I am so lucky to have so much love wrapped around me.  I could not get thru my days without all the support I get sprinkled in my days.
My dad has been here for sometime helping take care of me.......Mama Lou arrives on tuesday night.  I can hardly wait. 
There is a really long road ahead.........but I am tackling one day at a time.  My old boss...Al once told me how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
Please know I am deeply touched by every card........every text.........every prayer.........every email...........every phone call..........every visit.  You all have blessed me so much beyond words.
I love you and hope you are being grateful for your health.
Live with passion
DJ